Tailgates, fantasy football draft day, the week leading up to fantasy football draft day, 10:30 a.m. meetings, The Price is Right drinking game,1 a need to redeem last night’s loss and demand a rematch in US vs Nam-pong,2 brunch — these are all reasons why the Sneakhype Bro craves a morning drink.
But what shall he concoct to satiate this desire? The Ballsmapolitan or Brojito? Nay, a tad too stiff, though the thought of mint does remind him that he forgot to mouthwash this morning. A Mimosa? Only if he is with an abundance of Sneakhype Broads. A Bloody Mary? The vodka is always killed at last night’s pregame and who the fuck wants to eat celery3 when they’re drinking? A Corona Limona? Closer, and the thought of a crisp corona in the morning does appeal to him, but its acidity is a bit abrasive in light of the hangover he is currently experiencing.
Enter A Grown/Morning Man’s Corona Limona. This evolved, mature variation on the high-school classic calls for Mezcal,4 your mexican brew of choice (we used pacifico), tomato juice, lemon juice, ground black pepper, a touch of worcestershire sauce, and, for the spicy sneakhype bros out there, hot sauce. This smoky, hearty, and slightly spicy take on the Corona Limona will appropriately juice your morning goose and provide the added gusto needed to start your day off right.
1.5-2 oz of Mezcal
Handful of ice cubes
1-1.5 cups of Tomato Juice
Juice and zest of one Lemon
Zest of one lime
Ground Black Pepper to taste
Worcestershire Sauce to taste
Hot Sauce to taste (all of our to taste ingredients were approximately 1 teaspoon- 1 tablespoon)
4-6 oz of Mexican Beer
Brim the glass with Lime zest, lemon zest, and salt. Refer to the video in our Rita Rioja drink for a brimming lesson.
Combine Mezcal, Tomato Juice, Ground black pepper, Worcestershire Sauce, Hot Sauce, and Lemon Juice in an iced shaker. Mix and pour into an iced, brimmed glass.
Add Mexican Beer to top off your drink.
- There are several variations on this classic, but the general guidelines are as follows:
– Drink everytime someone is wearing a custom price is right shirt.
– Drink everytime someone hugs/kisses Drew Carey (1/2 for a hug, 1 for a kiss)
– Drink everytime everyone overbids
– Drink everytime someone bids a dollar
– Drink the whole time someone is coming down the aisle to the contestants row
– Drink everytime someone bids one dollar over the person behind them.
– Drink everytime the showcase is a dining room set or other crappy prize.
– Drink everytime the person is visibly dissappointed with their crappy showcase.
– Drink everytime someone doesn’t spin the big wheel all the way around.
– If plinko is one of the games, finish the drink you have.
– Drink the whole time a plinko chip is in play
– Drink every time a contestant is from a college
– When contestants are spinning the wheel, pick one and drink the whole time their spin is going. (Shot Special! Take a shot if they get 1 dollar).
– Drink everytime a car is the prize.
– Everytime someone wins a car, finish your drink.
– If you make it to the end of the show and Drew tells you to spay or neuter your pets, finish your drink. [↩]
- The rules are simple. Retrieve all traditional beer pong supplies: 22 cups, 2 ping pong balls, masculinity, and a table. Team US organizes its cups in a traditional 10 cup pyramid. Team Vietnam scatters their 10 cups about the table. Team US refills each cup after team Nam sinks a cup, and always maintains 10 full cups. Team Nam pulls their cups as team US sinks them. The game is over when team US gives up or all of Nam’s cups are sunk. To ensure equitable drunkenness, it is best to play two rounds, with teams swapping countries after the first round. Otherwise, team NAM should play with strong mixed drinks, like the one descriped here or the Ballsmapolitan or the Guyaparihna or the Rita Rioja. Big ups to Matt Smith, aka Smitty, for the history lesson. [↩]
- Seriously, fuck celery. Unless it’s in tuna salad. The sneakhype bro loves a good tuna melt. [↩]
- A bit o knowledge: Mezcal, like Tequila, is a liquor derived from agave, but is known for its stronger, smokier flavor, has its origins in the Southern Oxaca region of Mexico, and contains a scorpion or agave worm in the bottom of its bottle. Bosses in Mexico, as with tequila, drink it straight with a lime and whole ice cubes. [↩]