New Kindle = The Bomb

New Kindle = The Bomb


New Kindle = The Bomb

I don’t even read books… but you can bet your sweet ass I’m going to learn to so that I can buy one of these here new Amazon Kindles. Shoot, I’ll just take this thing to the coffee shop and pretend to read on it so I have an easier time picking up on the granola barista chick with her skinny jeans, lack-of-bra, and ballet slipper shoes. The Kindle comes in 2 new models. One with just Wi-Fi ($139.00) and one with Wi-Fi + FREE 3G ($189.00). When I say “FREE,” I mean Jeff Bezos (founder, president, chairman, and CEO of Amazon) is telling Mr. Steve Jobs to Bezos (kind of Spanish for “kiss”) his iron balls. You pay 189 for the new Kindle, and you get 3G all the time, anytime, anywhere. Check the specs on this new bad bitch.

  • All-New, High-Contrast E-Ink Screen – 50% better contrast than any other e-reader
  • Read in Bright Sunlight – No glare
  • New and Improved Fonts – New crisper, darker fonts
  • New Sleek Design – 21% smaller body while keeping the same 6″ size reading area
  • 15% Lighter – Only 8.7 ounces, weighs less than a paperback
  • Battery Life of One Month – A single charge lasts up to one month with wireless off
  • Double the Storage – Up to 3,500 Books
  • Books in 60 Seconds – Download books anytime, anywhere
  • Free 3G Wireless – No monthly payments, no annual contracts
  • Built-In Wi-Fi – In addition to the 3G wireless, you can connect to Wi-Fi hotspots
  • 20% Faster Page Turns – Seamless reading
  • Enhanced PDF Reader – With dictionary lookup, notes, and highlights
  • New WebKit-Based Browser – Free 3G web browsing (experimental)

You should really buy this thing.

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