Well everyone, I’m officially in love. I feel like Borat when he set out on a mission to marry Pamela Anderson. I will stop at nothing, for Rosie Jones, my sweet, is destined to be my trophy wife. I will spoil her and make her tea; give her foot massages and buy her diamonds. She will mother my children and my family will love her. You can follow Rosie on Twitter @RosieJones1990 — yes that 1990 is her birth year… she’s 19. She’s perfect.
Do you like the ocean? Are you a surfer? Do you wish you were a surfer? Do you enjoy looking at pictures of wet and beautiful women in bikinis? Do you like winning free shit? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you are going to love SURFBANG.com. From the creators of Sneakhype.com comes the world’s premier surf culture website. SURFBANG.com features the gnarliest surf videos, imagery, news, gear, interviews with pro surfers, and everything else surf. To celebrate the launch, we’re giving away 2 brand new watches (valued at $165 each). So even if you don’t like looking at hot chicks in swimsuits on the beach, you might at least like a chance at winning one of those. They’re sick. I’m actually kinda pissed we’re giving them away, because I really want one for myself.
Nodar Kumaritashvili, a Georgian luge slider competing at the Vancouver Olympics, died today after traveling at speeds of greater than 90 miles per hour on what some are claiming to be the fastest luge track ever created. He was 21 years old. Graphic imagery to follow the click. Damn he was goin so freakin fast; they need to get rid of this sport. Tragic.
It’s been almost a week since Steve Jobs’ announcement of the iPad… and I just now quit jerkin off. I’ve heard haters say things like, “It’s too expensive.” or “What would I do with that that I can’t already do?” Well, for one, hater, you could ball the F out. Somebody said to me, he said, “I would only pay 300 for it.” I said, “Yeah, I would only pay 300 for it, too, but I would also pay an additional 200 dollars to be the illinest dude on the block swiping away on my iPad at my local coffee shop droppin panties left and right.” Just imagine rockin this thing on your tray table on your flight to Vegas. “Oh this? This is that new Apple tablet called the iPad… yeah, they’re pretty neat… do I want to meet you in the bathroom in five minutes..? Why yes, yes I do, you gorgeous dame. Wait wait… are you 18 though? Oh 19? You are?… Wow, what a big little girl you are. K I’ll be there soon.. just let me finish watching this last episode of True Blood on my iPad in HD where Bill Compton and his vampire… More →
Apparently, well endowed women don’t like it when gravity pulls down on the upper teet when sleeping on one’s side. Fear no more — introducing “KUSH”… the ergonomically designed tittie pillow. You know what else would work PERFECTLY for this purpose?? My erect dong. …just saying. Watch the commercial:
Music has been, and always will be one of my biggest passions, period. My love for it is unmeasurable, and I love sharing new stuff that I find or come across with anyone and everyone. In light of those things, I felt that I needed to showcase a group of artists to you guys that I believe are on the rise, and that I expect big things from this year, as well as throughout their careers. I’m going to break this up into two parts, solely for the fact that I want you to take the time to listen, and enjoy each artist. I don’t want to do a ranking system either, I will leave that to everyone else out there.
That’s right people oh!mr. and SNEAKHYPE.com have joined forces once again to bring you another event to kick off 2010 properly. If you’re in or around the Lawrence area come Jan 22nd, there is no excuse for missing this show. Think of it as a belated birthday present from that quirky uncle who lives in New Mexico that you only see once every three years or so. Because he lives off the grid and hasn’t eaten meat since 1989. And he vehemently disagrees with the way your parents raised you. But he still cares, so go visit him at the Jackpot on FRI JAN 22nd! Our performers include Stik Figa and D/Will who recently released their collaborative LP “hellogoodbye”! They’ll be performing material off their new album together. Kansas City’s thrift store champion, the one and only Greg Enemy, will set things off and special guest DJ Max Justus (The Record Machine) will keep things hot & sweaty so bring a light jacket for this one. Let’s get the family together one more time! 10 pm, 18 and up, $5-7. See you there!
Merry Christmas from Sneakhype. A simple Google image search of “sexy santas” with my safe search turned off returned some rather hilarious pics. I’ve included 21 pics of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Unfortunately for you, I didn’t have the balls to include the pornographic santas. However, you might try the query “hot santa helper swallows 6 candy canes and eats snow” if you’re lookin for the nasty nasty.
Who can resist some good blue collar booty? I know 2 guys that can’t: Tiger Woods and me. Take a look at Jaimee’s smile — it looks exactly like Tiger’s… it just goes to show that people are drawn to others with similar phenotypes. Also, check out the rack on the chick hangin out with Jaimee at the club… mm, yes please! BLUBlublububb bub blub (that’s my motor boat sound). Finally, I just want everyone to know that it’s OK to still love Tiger Woods. So he likes cuddling with a down skank… who doesn’t!? “But, EG, he’s got a wife and kids!” But, Reader, his wife broke out his freakin’ window with a nine iron — bitch crazy. Come on, when you have a bagillion dollars and you’re the second most famous person in the world, you have to scrape hos off you with a knife. Tiger can’t use knives… he’s a lover, not a fighter. Love him back. He needs you right now.
There’s been a lot of hoopla surrounding the events that transpired early Friday morning. Look no further for the truth my friends, because SNEAKHYPE has the skinny. OK, let me bring you up to speed on the facts. Tiger (my dude) got in a car wreck at like 2:30 in the a.m. on black Friday. He hit a fire hydrant, as well as, a tree in his neighbor’s yard as he was leaving his place. He was completely sober. So what the fuck happened, right? First off, what was Mr. Woods doing leaving his house at 2:30 am (sober) on black Friday? There are only 2 possibilities here: 1) Tiger was on his way to Nebraska Furniture Mart to get in line for a 6-dollar belgian waffle maker…. OR 2) Dude was on a booty call to go boink a skank. So which is it? Considering Tiger makes about 9 billion frikkin dollars a year, I’m going to go ahead and guess he could pay one of his several in-house chefs to make him belgian waffles whenever he damn well pleases. That only leaves us with the latter option: Mr. Woods was on his way to go put his 5… More →