Dopeness

You know how sometimes your butt falls asleep because you’ve been sitting for too long?  Well, I just got done gathering these 37 pictures… it took a lot longer than usual tonight for some reason (usually I gather the galleries at night, and just schedule them for the morning).

This gallery in particular took about 3.5 hours probably.  Which, I know, others will scoff at and say “it took you that long to put together a random gallery of stimulating pics?”  To this, I would say a couple things.  First, I’ve always been the type of guy to take my time.  I finished art projects last in class.  When I mowed the lawn growing up, it always took me twice as long as my dad.  And secondly, to others who may believe they could do the job in faster time, I would say, “Indeed, anyone with paints, brushes, and a canvas can paint a picture.  But not everyone can sell their art.”

Anyways, when I finally go to actually draft up the Dopeness post, it’s always like the home stretch.  I see the finish line.  That sweet finish line that, once I cross it, I get to get up, go brush my teeth and crawl into bed and do some spoonin on my toasty woman.  This is why I usually don’t have shit to say in the article text on Dopeness posts; I’m trying to wrap this up pronto and get to spoonin on dat ass.  That, and the fact that it’s really difficult to come up with clever shit to say every day.  Props to all the clever tweeters out there.

So when I see that finish line, I get a little excited.  I gathered myself… kinda sat up a bit.  It was at this moment I realized how long I had been sitting — in somewhat of an awkward position — without moving any part of my body save my fingers.  I realized this because as the laptop moved an inch on my lap, my lap had no feeling whatsoever.  Totally numb.  I mean like everything in my general pelvis region had fallen asleep.  It was from my laptop pushing into my lower abdomen under the weight of my resting man hands.

Just as your butt or leg may fall asleep… for the first time I can ever remember people, my pubis area went numb.  It felt really weird.  And that… is exactly the thought that came to my mind when it came time to write a little caption for the day’s gallery: that my numb dong-region felt really weird.  And, in the spirit of new tidings in 2013, I thought… fuck it.  I’m gonna go balls deep on the explanation of that caption.

Please enjoy.

Bumblebee tuna. Follow @ericgiroux